A YOOK BY ANY OTHER NAME

Chapter 8: An Epi Truly of "Note"
by Jo Anzalone

Standing back, he looked around the room. "Perfect," he said, baring his teeth in a happy smile, "absolutely...perfect!"
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The next morning, Himself had changed into a faded blue denim shirt and donned raggedy felt hat. He was in a great mood and went about the house a large smile on his face. With his short beard, he was looking a lot like Maximus again and the women of the cast seemed quite happy about it. He was tan, glowed with health, and looked much younger than Jim Braddock somehow. It was strange how he did that. He had made arrangements for a fleet of SUVs to drive them all to Bellingen after breakfast.

Laura had decided to wear something a bit less ladylawyerish today and appeared, limping and holding onto furniture as she passed, in a soft ankle-length flared skirt, deep rust in color. The sleeves of her cream shirt were rolled half-way up her forearms and her waist cinched by a wide brown leather belt. She had on calf-length suede boots, but had had to leave the zipper loose on the right one to accommodate the Ace bandage Franki had wound about her ankle. In spite of a current lack of a certain grace in her movements, Steve was more than pleased when he saw her. She had left her hair loose in the back, but pulled the front portions up and clipped them on the crown of her head. As he was the one who helped her to one of the SUV's, he made sure, thusly, that he got to sit beside her for the trip.

Russ had rented the entire North Bellingen Caravan Park for them. It was the only way to keep them all together and close to the film site. Laura had been staying in town at Aunty Lil's B&B, but with her current gimpiness, decided to stay in a caravan, too. Russ had originally intended that he and Teller stay at the Blue Gum, which was even closer to the site, but as it only had room for 4 guests, he decided that it was best for the entire of lot of them, including him, to be in one location, possibly so he could keep a better eye on them. Nicole had taken up residence there instead. The couples all had their own caravans (trailers to USA folk), while Steve was still with Johnny and Kim, who had no epipartners as yet. The Captain was alone, too, but his rank earned him his own caravan. Laura had a caravan to herself, which Himself had fixed up with a computer, fax, and a fancier phone set-up and desk as she had legal business to tend to during filming.

There was one more caravan which housed two members of the Eucalyptus crew who had not wanted to stay in the large city of white tents that had sprung up at the edge of the site. One was Mary, a 33-year-old (remember EVERY woman in epis is 33) Grecian woman with lovely dark hair who was one of the assistant directors. (Ok...Ok...old time epireaders will remember she was here before, but forget that...this is her new incarnation.) The other was Rose, a petite woman from northern France, who was in charge of costumes for the film.

As there was nothing really to do yet for most of them, they set out in little clumps or two-by-two's to explore the set and the area around it. Himself took Teller to the Blue Gum to meet with Nicole and discuss the script. The Blue Gum B&B was set on 13 acres that had been made into a flora and fauna reserve. As they drove up to it, Himself saw Nicole seated at a bright green picnic table in the yard, already running lines to herself. When they parked and walked toward her, a truly delighted expression lit her lovely face. Himself walked up behind her, placing both hands on her shoulders and planting a brotherly kiss atop her curls. She stood, turning to greet her good friend, but paused when she realized that except for the clothing they wore, the two men looked exactly alike. Her eyes widened and Himself laughed.

"Ok," she said, trying to look stern, "who is who and which is what?"

Himself took off his felt hat and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm me," he chortled then tipped his head toward the other man, "and that's Teller."

Nicole, being a woman of some inner strength, was, thankfully not
prone to Victorian vapors. "Two?" she commented, adding, "At the same time?"

Himself shrugged. "I'll try 'n explain if you really want, but...,"

She smiled at him. "Could you...really?" He returned her smile.

"Nope."

"I thought not."

She sized Teller up. "So," she said, "you are Russ as he appears in our story."

"I am," he agreed.

She stepped closer to see the short, transparent scar under one eye, carrying the look of a perfectly straight tear. Then she looked carefully at Himself. "You don't have the scar," she observed.

"His is part of him," Himself explained. "I get mine in make-up."

She poked him in his belly. “What will I ever do with two of you?"

He licked his lips. "Twenty-six," he whispered, raising his eyes to study a passing cloud.

She was silent a long moment. "All here?"

"Yep."

"Here in Bellingen?"

"Yep." He looked at her then, trying to discern how upset she might be, but her eyes began to glow.

"Maximus?" she asked.

He nodded.

"And Bud?"

"Every one. The whole lot."

"Does Jocelyn know?" she asked then.

"We were just at Nana Glen," he explained.

"Not your Mum," she corrected. "The other one." She meant Jocelyn Moorhouse, the director.

"Not yet," he said. "I'm hoping she'll be so glad to see Andy again that she won't mind I've got 'em all with me."

"It's been quite a while since she directed 'Proof'," she continued, "I bet she'll be pleased."

He coughed slightly. "Sid's here."

"Really?" She hadn't had time to think about that yet. "Where is he?"

"I've lost him for the moment," he explained. "But he's in the vicinity."

Nicole pondered that bit of information. "Jocelyn might not particularly like that," she concluded. "Do you think he could disrupt filming?"

"I hope not," Himself said earnestly, "but I fear he may." His brow creased deeply and she could see that he was, indeed, truly concerned.

As well he should be. At that very moment Sid was seeing to the delivery of three notes he had carefully composed that morning. He had promised the young man on the bicycle that he could live were he to deliver two of the notes separately to Maximus and Joimus at a time when they were not together. The other he had taken himself to The Rose Patch.

The young bicyclist found Joimus with Berti and Bud on the flagstone path leading to the large pink house that was the centerpiece of the movie. "Is...is...one of you ladies a Miss Joimus?" he asked.

"I am," the one in the pale yellow gossamer gown replied. He handed her a note and sped quickly away.

"Did you get served?" Bud asked, judging by the manner of the delivery of the paper.

She opened the tri-folded sheet. "It's from Maximus," she explained.

"I thought he was napping in your tra...er...caravan," Berti remarked.

"So did I," Joimus said, then continued reading the missive. As she did, her lips curved ever more into a smile.

"It's good, I take it?" Bud said.

"Very," she laughed. "He wants me to meet him at The Rose Patch. He's arranged a private lunch for us on the balcony overlooking the gardens."

"OoooOOoo," Berti ooooOOooed. " I saw a brochure about that. Has literally hundreds of perfumed roses, azaleas, daylilies, camellias, you name it." She smiled at her friend. "How like him to know that would appeal to you."

As Joimus scooted off to the car park, Berti waved after her, "Enjoy yourself!"

"I will!" she called back.

The Rose Patch was out the north side of Bellingen, too, and she had seen the signs for it as they had driven to the Caravan Park so she knew right where to go. She walked into the office and asked for Maximus.

"Ah," said the manager, "I have just gotten a note from him for you."

Joimus took it, opening it quickly. "My Heart," it read. "I have been briefly delayed by a matter Himself asked me to attend to for him. I shall not be one moment longer than I must. Please walk in the gardens until I come. I shall find you there. With all my love...always. Maximus."

"Is everything all right?" the woman manager asked kindly.

"He will be coming," Joimus explained, "only a bit late and suggests I visit your gardens."

"Ah," the woman said, "you will find much there to delight your eye...and your nose." She pointed out the path that curved around into a valley covered in green lawn and with large island gardens all through it. A small wooden bridge, painted a bright red, arched slightly over a dry stream made of flowers. She smiled. If she must wait for her General to come to her, she couldn't have thought of a better place!

"What is this?" Maximus asked the bicyclist who had just handed him a folded paper. He was standing on the lower step leading up to his caravan, not pleased that he had been awakened.

"I...I...have no idea, Sir," the young man trembled. "I was only
told to deliver it to you."

"By whom?" the General asked, but the man was already scrambling onto his bike. Maximus went back inside the caravan and sat down with the paper in his hand. He frowned at it. He wasn't sure why. He just didn't like getting the paper in such a manner. Then he brightened. Perhaps it was from Joimus! Eagerly he opened it and read. His pleased expression changed into a thunderous, fierce scowl.

"General," the note said, "I have Joimus. If you want to see her alive again, come alone...I stress the word ALONE...upstream along the Never Never River. When you find a burnt-out farm house with two chimneys, go behind its barn and into the hills until you come to an old shed. There we shall talk, you and I. Remember, in the chess game of life...I never hesitate to sacrifice my queen. Or, in this case, YOUR queen. Come now. Come alone."

He stood, buckling on his sword belt, his jaw set, his eyes gone all dark. Outside the caravan, he made certain no one saw him, then he slipped amongst the eucalyptus that grew right down to the edge of the Never Never. He walked for about 20 minutes at a rapid stride before he came upon the burned house. He paused briefly, sizing up the lay of the land. He didn't like the way the low hills grew ever more closely together behind the barn. It was ideal for ambush. He skirted around to the right-hand side, keeping close to the underbrush rather than taking the easier route down the center. There, almost hidden by years of growth, lay the large shed. He half-crouched, circling completely around it. There was but the one way in, a warped door that was slightly ajar.

Unsheathing his gladius, he stepped toward it, keeping his back pressed to the wall. Using his left hand, he pushed the door open further. It was dark inside, the only light coming from the doorway. He was breathing rapidly, every sense alert.

"Joimus!" he whispered.

"Come in!" a familiar voice called.

Maximus frowned. He stepped inside, his gladius held a bit in front of him. The sight that met his eyes astonished him. About 25 feet across from him, his right ankle manacled and chained to the back wall, stood Sid.

The Chipman made a sweeping bow. "Welcome, General, to my humble abode."

"You...you are a...prisoner?" Maximus asked, unable to believe his eyes.

Sid yanked on his short, thick chain. "Indeed," he said, "I am."

 

"Whose?"

Sid smiled, showing teeth unpleasantly. "My own."

Maximus frowned, puzzled, taking several steps into the room. The door slammed behind him, clicking as it automatically locked. Instantly the General crouched into full fighting stance. So, it was an ambush!

"Where is Joimus?" he growled.

"Off in a garden somewhere...waiting for...you," Sid laughed.

"You do not have her?" Maximus asked hoarsely.

"No," Sid continued, "well, at least...not yet."

"You will never...," Maximus started, but was interrupted by a heavy net made of steel cables that fell completely over him, clamping itself to the floor. He struggled with it, but could barely keep his feet beneath its great weight. He did not notice the cable that ran from the edge of the net to a complicated device on the side wall. Sid reached toward a small shelf on the device, picking up the item he had brought from the secret chamber under the barn flooring in The Village when he had been Sidark Kent. (Journey Into Jeopardy) It glowed greenly in the dim light. He turned it, looking at it in pleased fascination. It was a long, slim crystal, emerald in color though not in composition. It hummed with power in his hands. He ran his forefinger down its shaft, his tongue making twisting patterns in the air all the while.

Maximus stopped struggling, looking at him through the cable mesh. "Sid! What are you doing?"

Sid smiled. "Why, Maximus, I'm just going to do a little performance piece. But later I'll do my solo with...Joimus." He licked the crystal slowly.

"NO!" the General roared.

Sid dropped the crystal down a long, clear tube at the top of the device then pressed himself flat against a mesh of cable that hung on the wall behind him. Instantly the entire interior of the shed glowed bright green, then changed in sweeping arcs of color like some entrapped aurora. The colors moved in the air then with a hissing swoosh, parted, half going into the mesh net encasing Maximus, half into the mesh on the wall behind Sid.

Both men went completely rigid as the hissing colors flowed and poured themselves through every cell, then sizzlingly, rushed out and up, merging together in the center of the room. For a long moment the auroras danced together in vivid swirls before they curved themselves in twain again, diving back into the cells of the men. Both Sid and Maximus crumpled to the floor, lying silent and still as long minutes ticked away.

 

Maximus stirred first, opening seagreen eyes, pressing his palm against the heavy mesh that lay atop him. He managed to struggle to his knees and began to search about the floor planking with his other hand. Lifting a particular loose board, he pressed a small button. Instantly the net lifted completely, enabling him to stand, though it scraped his right cheekbone as it rose. He touched his forefinger to the wound, looking at the blood on it in the light from the doorway. He smiled, almost mesmerized by its beautiful redness, then touched it lightly to his tongue.

"180 A.D.," he murmured. "A very good year."

A bit unsteady on his feet, he crossed the room and looked down at the still-unconscious Sid. Sid's leg remained shackled firmly to the back wall and he lay on his back, that leg twisted under his other.

"Ooo," Maximus said, "uncomfortable." Bending lower, he noticed that blue nanosauce had leaked from Sid's eyes and nose, and even his ears. A small dribble of it dripped out of the corner of his slack mouth.

"Hmmmm?" Maximus frowned. "I didn't expect that." He stood, giving one last look at the prostrate form, pushed the device the crystal had been dropped down to the far side of the room beyond the reach of the chains, commented, "Oh, well," unlocked the door, and walked out into the clear Australian air.

As much as she loved flowers, Joimus was beginning to feel she had become personally acquainted with each and every one of them in the large garden. She stood in the center of the red bridge, leaning forward, resting her elbows on its railing as she looked down the long green slope in front of her. Suddenly two strong hands encircled her waist and she turned, looking up into the face of her beloved.

"Maximus!" she cried, her heart in her eyes. "At last!"

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