A YOOK BY ANY OTHER NAME

Chapter 19: Death In The Afternoon

They stood still, totally, absolutely shocked for a long moment, then Jack pushed past Bud, flinging himself beside the three on the floor. Bunny remained riveted where she was beside the machine. What had she... done? Quickly Jack reached from person to person then sat back on his heels, his shoulders sagging, his face a mask of despair. "They're dead," he said. He tipped his face up toward the ceiling and began to rock back and forth a bit. "My God," he cried, "they're all dead!"
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Bud looked at his hands which he held palms-up, fingers spread wide and taut. A low rolling moan of a sound came over his lips which changed into a series of low "unh's" that he couldn't seem to stop. He shut his eyes, clamped his teeth and his lips, but still they came. Slowly, as though in great pain, he managed to stand. He stared at the group on the floor, the sounds still coming, growing more and more closely in resemblance to a wounded animal's. Then he turned and walked away, his shoulders hunched, the sounds coming...always the sounds, and he simply headed into the west.

Bunny held onto to the machine, little gasping noises coming up her throat as she looked from person to person. MaxiSid lay limply now, still on his side, the cape tangled about his legs. Joimus and Sidimus were folded together, her form still curved over his in her last protective gesture. She watched, paralyzed, as Jack hesitatingly reached out his right hand and rested it on Joimus' head. Then he turned, looking at Bunny.

 

Barely able to speak he asked, "Why? Why would she give her life to protect...Sid?"

 

Bunny sucked in two deep breaths before she could answer. "Because he wasn't Sid. He was Maximus."

 

 

 

Jack looked like he had been punched in the face. "He's not himself," he said. Then he moved his eyes back to what lay in front of him. "She kept saying that. We just didn't know what it...meant." As soon as Bunny had answered him, he knew the truth of it. It explained not less than everything. Again his hand reached out, and he let it lie on true Maximus' leg.

 

"You were here all along, my friend." He sighed raggedly. "How I wish I had known. How I wish I had been in...time."

 

He looked at Bunny again. "Why were you and Maxim...Sid...coming here?"

 

She blinked rapidly, wanting to stem the tide of the tears she knew would overwhelm her shortly. "Sid's body was rejecting Maximus' human life," she explained. "Sid was coming to help." She looked from one of the dead men to the other. She didn't know which to mourn. She didn't know, now that they were gone, which body...was...hers...to mourn.

The muscles in his face twitching, Jack moved his hand and stood, looking silently down at the three. He knew Himself must be informed. Taking quick stock of Bunny, he could see she was in no condition to make the trip back to the set alone. He would have to do it.

"Bunny," he said, "I am going to go get Himself. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Then he was out the door. Halfway to the barn, he turned, looking back and saw Bud atop a low hill beyond the shed, walking westward. There was nothing he could do about that now. Berti and Himself could decide about that later. Then he began to run faster and faster, but was unable to outrun the pictures in his mind. He simply could not believe the news he was bearing.

After Jack left, Bunny slowly released the painful grip of her fingers from the machine. She took one step, then another towards her friends, toward her lover. Losing him was unbearable. Not knowing which of them he was, unthinkable. Her brain hurt almost as much as her heart. She knelt beside the outward form of Maximus as that was how Sid had last been for her. Had she killed him by dropping the crystal? He had been all right until then. She let her fingers bury themselves in the fur drape, then leaned forward as her tears burst forth, pressing her face, too, into the deep fur.

 

Jack arrived at the edge of the yooks, pausing to catch his breath as he saw filming had just wrapped for the day. Jocelyn was waving her arms, saying something loudly to Himself, who looked very frustrated. Blinking a sudden fog that tried to cover his eyes, the Captain began to walk across the grass. About halfway to Himself he suddenly sank heavily to his knees, bracing with one hand on the ground lest he fall completely forward. Himself saw this out of the corner of his eye and turned, running toward him.

"JACK!" he called, his eyes wide with concern.

 

Rose, too, had seen the Captain's fall, dropped the case she had in her hands and ran toward him. If Jack had had any hopes of getting Himself alone, it was too late. Everyone was heading toward him as fast as they could get there. Himself, arriving first, knelt in front of Jack, putting both his hands on the Captain's shoulders. Jack lifted his face, looking in Himself's. Himself sucked in a sharp breath. Never had he seen Jack look like this, not even in battle, not even when wounded. Jack's lips moved but he simply could not form the words and made only little gasping sounds.

 

 

Berti was terribly worried. Bud had been with the Captain and if Jack had returned in this state, what had happened to Bud? Her eyes scanned the edge of the woods, but Bud was not there.

 

Seeing Jack's inability to talk, Himself asked, "Is it Maximus?" Jack nodded, his eyes filling with tears.

 

"My God," Himself said. "Has Sid hurt him again?"

 

Jack just took his free hand and clamped it over his eyes. Rose could not bear seeing him like this. She, too, knelt near him, just to his side and lightly touched his back with her fingers. His face and neck muscles were working as he tried to regain control, to speak what he must speak. Finally he let his hand slide down his face and he looked into Himself's eyes.

Himself returned the gaze, reading pain stacked atop pain in the Captain's. "Jack," he said, trying to keep his voice level, calm, "tell me what has happened."

"They're dead," he croaked before his voice cracked completely.

Himself sat back on his heels, shocked. "Who, Jack? Who is dead?"

Jack made a little back and forth motion with his hand, his chin trembling. "All," he whispered. "All of them."

 

 

 

Himself's first thought was that somehow Sid and Maximus had killed one another, but if that were the case, Jack would simply have said "both" rather than "all."

He looked up at Berti. "Do you see Bud anywhere?" he asked, hoping that Bud might be able to provide more information than Jack seemed to be doing.

"Bud!" gasped Jack.

"What about Bud?" both Berti and Himself asked quickly.

Jack looked so stricken that Berti cried, "Oh, my God! Bud's dead!"

Terry stepped quickly beside her, gripping her arm in support. Jack swung his head side to side. "No... not dead."

Berti sighed in relief, but then Jack added, "He shot Joimus."

"WHAT?" Himself shouted. "Bud shot Joimus? Where?"

 

He meant "in what locale", but Jack sighed and said, "In the back. He shot her in the back."

 

Berti sank to her knees so fast she almost pulled Terry down with her.

"That's not possible," Himself continued. "Why would he shoot her?”

"He...he didn't mean to," Jack continued. "He was trying to shoot Sid."

"It's not like him to miss like that," Terry said.

 

"Yes," Himself agreed, "how could he miss like that?"

 

"She...she put herself between them."

Himself inhaled deeply again. This was too confusing. None of it made any sense. "Why, Jack. Why would

she do that? She hated Sid for what he'd done to Maximus."

Jack nodded agreement. "She did. That's right, she did." Rose was worried. The Captain seemed almost dazed.

 

"WHY?" Himself repeated, his voice firm and insistent.

 

 

"Be...because she found out Sid was Maximus."

 

"She found out...what?"

 

Jack seemed on overload. Despite all his life experience, today's events were something totally new, totally disturbing. He shook his head sharply, trying to clear it, then rubbed his palm roughly across his face. Finally lifting his eyes to Himself's, he said, "It's true. Sid somehow ...switched. The Maximus who has been with us here in Bellingen has been Sid almost the whole time."

 

"Did Joimus know?" Biebe asked.

 

"No, well, not until just a bit ago. But then it was too late. He was already dying."

Himself frowned, not understanding. "Why was that?"

 

Jack licked his lips. How had they gotten so dry? "Sid's body. It was never meant to contain a human life. It was closing down."

 

"But what happened to Sid himself?" Zack wanted to know.

 

"Bunny said he wanted to help...but it was too late already. Then she dropped the green crystal in the tube and...and...he died, too."

 

"Crystal in the tube?" Himself repeated. "You mean Bunny killed Sid?"

 

"I don't know...I don't KNOW!" Jack said, his voice rising. "It's all a mess. It's all so...confusing."

 

He kept shaking his head wearily. "There were lights...colored lights...all over...all around...moving...making sounds. And they were dead. All of them." He turned his head, looking at Rose, his face so sad, so lost, her heart was breaking at the sight of it. "Dead," he repeated. He touched her face then, and moved his hand on to wrap one of her waves about his finger.

 

 

"She tried to save him, you know. He was already almost dead but she still tried to save him. " His eyes tracked around her face. "She loved him, you know." His lower eyelid twitched several times as his focus turned inward and he saw it all again. "She just curved herself over him when the bullet came. Curved herself right over him." Then his focus returned to her face. "She loved him, you know. That way we all want...we all want to be...loved."

Tears began to fall down his cheeks and Rose didn't care if it were seemly or not, didn't care if the entire cast or the entire world were watching. She moved more closely to him and pressed his face into her shoulder, just letting him hold onto her.

 

Himself stood, looking seriously at Terry, his jaw set in a grim line. "Jack," he said, "I need one more thing. Where are they?"

 

"Old shed... back of the burned farmstead."

 

"I know the place," he said, nodding his head.

 

But Berti was not done with the Captain. "Where is Bud?" she demanded. "Where is Bud now?"

 

"He...he...walked away, Berti. He couldn't bear what he had done and he just walked away. West, I think."

Berti squeezed her eyes tightly closed, knowing what this must be doing to Bud. He would never forgive himself. He would be absolutely devastated. She had to find him! Himself was talking with several of the men, putting together a small group to go with him to the shed.

"I'm going, too," she announced.

 

 

From the look in her eye, he knew there would be no stopping her. He was having a hard time dealing with this himself. He couldn't get his mind around the fact that not only Joimus, but two of his characters were really gone. Being Sid had been a romp. He had quite loved going over the top with him, opening his eyes more widely than was his habit, making his voice a bit hoarser, just being so very good at being so very bad. It hadn't really been work. Maximus was different. He had put his heart, his soul, his very guts into that man. He had fought for him, fought for his lines, fought to see he was done right by in every way. And it had been, what, just a few days ago he had thought he'd lost him? And now he HAD? He blew out a series of long breaths. No wonder Jack was so upset. He and Maximus had been very close and he knew the great respect, almost the awe in which the Captain held the love Joimus and the General shared. And to have been there, to have seen it all happen? He blew out another long breath. He couldn't quite believe it yet. He needed to get there. He needed to get there...now.

 

 

The swirl of light twisted its way upward, going so far that distance ceased to be a matter of consequence. When it had arrived in a place that was no place at all, it devolved into three main colors, each containing countless gradations within itself. There was a brilliant blue that shaded through all the violets and on into deepest indigo.

 

 

There was red that flowed with rusty oranges and burnished browns.

 

 

And there was a yellow that arced between lemon and the softest ivory. If there had been anyone to see, and who is to say that there was not, they would have beheld these colors waft and weave amongst themselves, sometimes very individually distinctive, yet at others merging and melding as when the lemon passed through the blue and for a brief moment out of time there was...green.

 

 

It did not seem to matter, really, which was which in this curving, graceful dance they did amongst themselves for when their full array of color spread its splendid panoply of insubstantiality, it all became pure white light in which no division lay or was even possible. Then a single note would sound, sustained, exquisite as that one perfect soar only a violin may make and hold until it has drawn itself around and through all that love can ever know...and in that bidding sound the yellow flamed into the orange then cooled itself in blue.

 

 

Himself stood just outside the door of the shed, his hand poised to push it open, but not yet, not just yet, quite able. He needed to see what lay inside, yet was not sure he could bear the sight he must see.

 

 

Terry, beside him, rested his hand on Himself's shoulder, both giving support and connecting to him in the anticipation of great pain. Berti was there, clutching annsmac's hand. Himself had asked that Rose see to Jack's care, not wanting him to return, to face this again.

 

Pat was there. Always she had watched over Joimus and she would not stop, not now. Alex would not let her come without him. She looked at him, her eyes sparkling with tears, and with a tremulous smile said, "Fwute Wupes."

"I remember," he smiled back. "I will always remember her dropping her fork so Mathymoose had to pick it up. She surely did not want those eggs!"

 

"It won't be the same," Pat added, "not at all."

 

Himself smiled slightly, listening to them. A sudden thought, bringing with it hope, came into his mind. There had been the fearful plummet of the golden eagle and...yet...Maximus and Joimus had appeared, whole, well, in his very bed. Perhaps...?

 

Holding his breath, he pushed open the door, the late afternoon light illumining the shed's interior. But...then...the breath came rushing out of him in one long, endless exhale, taking with it his hope. Terry, seeing the sharp sag of Himself's shoulders, sighed. He, too, had hoped. Always before in epis they had survived somehow. Something in him, though, had almost known that after so recently finding them all happy on Himself's bed it was too soon for a repeat. Perhaps if the eagles had come three, maybe four, storylines back, then there would be only cuddles and smiles inside the shed. But, no, it had been at the very end of the very last storyline, far, far too recently.
                    

Himself just stood there, his palm leaning on the doorframe, and took off his tattered felt hat. Using the sleeve over his forearm, he wiped his forehead, then let his arm hang limply. Finally he took a few slow, heavy steps inside, followed by the small group that had accompanied him. The six of them stood silently, some of them clutching one another tightly. They hadn't realized when Jack had said "all" that he meant four of them, for, indeed, four bodies lay there on the strange mesh.

Pat looked at Alex. "Bunny, too?"

 

 

But then Himself saw that her shoulders moved as she cried into the drape and he quickly squatted beside her, laying his hand on her back. "Bunny?" he said. "Bunny, are you all right?"

 

She lifted her tear-stained face, saying brokenly, "I will never be all right, ever again."

 

"But are you...hurt?"

 

Shaking her head silently, she turned her eyes to outer Maximus then outer Sid. Looking back into Himself's eyes she asked, "Which? Which one... is...he?"

 

 

It was only then he realized the further torment of her soul. For the first time, he dragged his eyes over to look fully at them. How truly...strange... it was to see the obvious coupling was of Joimus and Sid. He put his hand on the floor, leaning closer, his brow creasing deeply at the sight of all the nanosauce that covered the face of Sid's body. Knowing Maximus had been inside it, he wondered had that leaking...hurt? How had it been for the General to be so trapped and then so expelled? And, then, there was Maximus' body, lying to the side of the other two, strangely alone in death. He tugged a bit on the cape, untangling it somewhat from the legs, then sat back heavily on his backside, burying his face in his hands, his mind filled with that day Droogheeda had been burning and he and Cort had been able to bring Maximus back to himself. Then Joimus had come and the two of them just folded together in the ashes in utter completeness, utter peace. This was like some cruel parody of that and his shoulders began to shake with the grief he had hoped to contain.

The others stood there, still silent, too shocked to even move. Epis were not supposed to be like THIS! But, like Terry, like the experienced epians they all were, they knew that the ever-turning wheel that was life in this reality demanded further and further reaches into the few places they had not gone before.

 

"We...we...could have parachuted onto the Great Wall of China," Pat said sadly. "We could have found polar bears on lost tropical isles. Anything but...this." Joimus could be a ninja, she could be a little pink 3-year old, she could be a fish-netted tart. But she was not supposed to be dead!

 

Annsmac shook her head. She, who wrote mounds of fanfic herveryself, said silently within her brain, "Boy, is she ever milking this one for all it's worth!" She was right, of course. But no one else needed to know that or the angst-o-meter would drop considerably. Annsmac smiled, pleased that she had provided a chuckle, no matter how brief, how slight, in the suspenseful, albeit melodramatic level of epi 19.

Berti kicked annsmac's shin. "Stop with the levititious thoughts!" she groused. With Bud heading ever more westward, 'unhing' all the way, she knew good and well her personal angst level was about to soar off the charts.

 

Annsmac smiled innocently. "You knew, you must have known, she couldn't do a WHOLE epi without inserting at least a bit of frivolity?"

Then she stopped, worried about her words. " Have I ruined it, have I ruined the epi?

 

Berti, gearing up for coming sufferings was in no mood to trifle with such things. "You have not only ruined the angst of this epi, you've probably ruined the entire storyline!"

 

Even with the General lying dead before them, they could not refrain from MaxiSpeak! A tremor of fear went through annsmac. Would she pay some terrible price for this? Probably...yes. But now, now it was time to return to our regularly scheduled angst.

Terry took Joimus' shoulders, gently laying her back on the floor. His jaw worked furiously as he moved her. He felt somehow he was undoing her last move, her last desperate motion that was intended to save Maximus. As he moved her, Sid's body, no longer supported by hers, slumped to the side, the back of his right hand hitting the plank floor with a sharp smack. Everyone in the room winced. Alex helped him straighten Sid's legs. Sid? WAS it Sid? That was what was so confusing about the whole thing. Did the form in which they died determine who was who, or should it be more the form in which they had lived? Joimus had sacrificed her life to save the life that resided in Sid's outward form. But now that all life was gone, was he purely Sid once again? What did one write on the tombstone, for Pete's sake?

"Perhaps we should just bury them all together?" Alex suggested.

 

Himself nodded silently, then the full import of the word 'bury' hit him like a blow. Did things so ultimate...so final...as that...really happen in epis?

 

Bunny huddled still, just past Maximus' body. This not knowing made her feel she had lost Sid in a way more terrible than would be thinkable. The man in the purple suit, despite the handsome face marred by blue, had been the form of the one she loved, who had loved her in his way. And so her eyes felt drawn to him. Yet...there beside her lay the form she had last known love from, and never could she forget that.

The sound of engines came into the shed as three SUVs arrived. Biebe pulled up close to the shed itself, while Jeffrey and Zack parked just a bit further back. Himself stood, walked to the door, and looked out into the fading light. It had been a long day, an endless day, full of take after take and now...this. For the first time in his life he was afraid he would not be able to walk through the gelatinous curtain on the morrow, would not be able to...act. In fact, he knew it beyond all doubt. He would ask Jocelyn to shift to some Roy Cave scene with Hugo. He needed...time. All of his insides simply...hurt...and merely standing now was almost more than he could manage.

                                  

He looked up just as Phyllis got out of the last SUV, holding her arms out as she came across the space between them. Tiredly, gratefully, he went toward her, enfolding her, letting his tears flow at last in the harbor of her arms as one by one the vehicles received their sad cargo and drove away. Then, when he was spent, together arm in arm they walked to the summit of a low hill and just sat, leaning into one another as the night came full and dark. Above them, bright auroras began to play across the sky, weaving and snapping their colors like Olympic ribbon dancers.

 

 

"Aurora Australis," he said, pointing as a sudden sheet of pale yellow flashed low above the distant yooks.

 

 

He was wrong. The yellow was not Australian at all.