A YOOK BY ANY OTHER NAME

Chapter 16: All Quiet On The Western Set

He noticed Bud's hand feeling for his shoulder holster and said, "No, Bud. Not that way.  Bullets don't work on Sid.  You know that."  Bud did, but still he needed that feel of gunmetal under his hand.
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Berti opened Joimus' door at the sound of a light tapping, surprised to see Bunny standing there.  "I...I ran into Jack just a minute ago," she said, "and he told me Maximus had been hurt.  I...I...wanted to see hi...er... Joimus, if I might."  

 

She seemed strangely agitated as Berti let her in.  With just a slight nod to Himself, Bud, and Stephen, Bunny went quickly to the sleeping area. "Ooh," she said, whisper soft, when she saw MaxiSid lying so still on the bed.  She could tell from his face he was truly unconscious.  How had this happened? As she looked at him, she knew she would never again feel quite the same way about the body of the General...not now that she had such, um, intimate knowledge of it and all.  She was confused , though. WAS this MaxiSid on the bed or had somehow the actual Maximus been returned to his body?  She needed to know.  If it were true Maximus, then she would force herself to back off, but if this were her Sid who had been injured...?  Who could have injured him? Had Maximus somehow been able to do this?  But why would Maximus damage his own body?

                                       

She inhaled deeply and Joimus became aware of her presence. "Bunny," she said, turning her head.  "I'm so worried about him."

 

 

"Is...is he gravely injured?" Bunny asked.  

 

 

"His leg has a fairly severe wound, but it's his mind I'm most worried about.  He's just not himself lately." 

                                     

Bunny nodded, thinking, "Amen to that!"  The English wabbit had never been so torn in her life.  She adored Joimus, truly she did, but...then...there was Sid. It was almost more than she could handle and she became aware she had a splitting headache.

 

"Will...will you let me know how he's doing?" she asked, finding it very hard to take her eyes off the form on the bed but knowing she should really go back to her own caravan.  

 

 

"Of course," Joimus replied, smiling at her friend.  "I know how much you care."

 
 

"Is this a habit with this cast?" Rose was asking as she took the leggings from Jack's hands, turning them to study the damage.  

 

 

He shook his head.  "More often than is probably normal," he sighed, his hand going to his recently redone ruffles.  Mary was still out walking with Johnny, and so the Captain asked if he might stay while she mended the large tear. She smiled assent and he settled himself in a chair just across from hers that he might watch her profile as she sewed.

 

 

"I thought the General had gone to his caravan for a rest," she stated as she searched for matching rust-colored thread.  

 

 

"As did we all," he sighed again.  "I think from now on one of us must have our eye on him at all times."

 

 

"He wanders?"  

 

 

"Not usually," Jack explained, "but we seem to find ourselves in the midst of special circumstances."

"You are close friends, I think."  

 

 

Jack smiled, "He saved my life recently at great personal sacrifice.  But, yes, we are friends. We...we...share things that none of the other characters have experienced."
 

 

 

Rose nodded, knowing he meant the command of men, the shouldering of much responsibility.  She lay the leggings in her lap, turning then to look at him fully. "You miss your ship?"

                                     

A far away look came into his eyes as he found himself once again atop the main mast, the whole blue curve of the world filling his eyes.  He nodded silently then said softly, "But I still have Stephen...now and again. And Himself...well, Himself understands.  Oh, and we did sail epi-ishly around the Horn to the Galapashires...but that was a while back, before Enchantments."  

 

 

"You...you are...happy, though?"  

 

 

He looked into her eyes, wanting to say that now, at last, he was happier than he'd been for a long time, but he simply pressed his lips together ina smile and nodded.  She read his unspoken words in his eyes and a slight flush crept up her neck so she turned quickly back to her sewing, though her own lips were unable to stop their upward curve.

 

 

"Do you have this variety?" Biebe asked, holding out a long, slim yook leaf.
                           

"Not yet," Buggie replied.  She was collecting a sample from each of the trees they found in their exploration of the farm that was being used as the set.  She held out her basket and he let the leaf float down into it, joining a good 60 other leaves.  More than anything, they were just enjoying being together after their separation on the Polar Express. (A New Jeopardy) She thought of how very different a lawman he was than Bud.  Bud seemed to have some deep anger that lived down in his core, though since he'd been with Berti, he had managed it somewhat better. It could still rise up given provocation, like too-highly-pressured steam.  He liked having his weapon about his person at all times, whereas her Biebe never carried one at all unless he was going hunting.  As a lawman, he came across as more of a protective friend than anything else.  She quite liked that about him, liked that he'd never done anybody any harm in his life.

 

 

She smiled, watching him twirl a leaf stem between his thumb and forefinger.  In the warmth of Australia, he'd left his bearfur hat in their caravan as well as his dark blue parka.  His shiny hair ruffled a bit in the light breeze and he came close to her, running the leaf down the curve of her cheek.  She giggled, turned and dashed away, knowing he would chase her.  He did, and she arranged to be easily caught, flopping down onto the grass with him.  He still had his leaf and tickled her neck mercilessly with it until she gasped for breath.  His eyes were close above her and she felt suddenly serious.  Looking up into them she said, "I'm so glad you are OK."
                                    

"I know," he smiled, then used his lips in a way that prevented further talk.

 

 

MaxiSid stirred, a real groan rising up and out of him.  Damn, but his leg hurt!  This pain business was such a drag!  Someone was holding his hand.  "Bun...," he began, but his senses regathered themselves before he added the second syllable, lucky for him.  It was Joimus, of course.
 

 

"I...I...bungled things again, didn't I?" he covered.  

 

 

"Bungled?" she repeated.  "Why do you say that?"  

 

 

"I woke and you were gone so I thought I would look for clues myself ...maybe discover something that could lead us to Sid."  

 

 

"That wasn't wise," she said softly.  

 

 

He nodded, then squinted his eyes as his human nerves jangled his brain insistently again.  "You are in much pain?" she asked.
              

He wanted to say, " Of COURSE I'm in pain! That blasted General of yours nearly sliced his own leg off!!" But he simply said, "Much."

 

She got up, going to the front of the caravan.  "Stephen, he's awake and seems to be in a lot of pain."  

 

 

The Doctor opened his black bag, took out a small vial, and said, "Here, give him a few drops of this."  She did and within moments he had drifted off into a deep sleep.

 
 

Eryn was happy.  Jocelyn had decided she wanted a bead curtain at one end of Ellen's room and having heard of Eryn's reputation as an excellent beadess, hired her to make it.  It was to be in all shades of green as an inner reflection of the leaves Ellen encountered whenever she went outdoors to wander amongst the yooks as was so often her habit.
                                  

Colin watched, amazed, as Eryn's finger flew, the curtain forming right before his eyes. The afternoon sunlight streaming in the front window of their caravan made the beads sparkle and glow and he thought he had never seen anything so beautiful, well, other than the face of the one who bent over the beadwork, smiling as her artifice gained substance.

 

Filming was set to begin in the morning.  Everything would be in place, even the curtain, though Jocelyn still worried that Himself was bothered by something. He assured her that he could concentrate no matter what, and she truly hoped that would be so.  As executive producer, his paternal instincts had been extended to the film as well as to his people and he felt that if he could act with tons of water being dumped on him, with tigers swatting at his rear, with explosions under the helicopter skids he hung from, he could act with Sid on the loose.  It remained to be seen if Sid were actually more distracting than an exploding wet tiger, now didn't it?

 

 

MaxiSid slept all afternoon and through the night, giving everyone a break from hovering over him, though someone was near the door of that caravan at all times. Morning came, bringing with it February and a lack of blizzard conditions, which, one must figure, was one of the reasons Yook was being filmed in New South Wales and not Pennsylvania.  That and the fact that yooks didn't grow in Pennsylvania.  One could have entitled the movie "Oak"... but that had already been done and under the more quirky name of "Quercus." (Part of the "Journey Into Jeopardy" storyline)

 

 

Joimus stood next to their bed, watching as Maximus finally began to stir.  He opened his eyes, feeling quite rested, and smiled at her. Before he remembered his wound, he swung both legs over the side of the bed and stood.  Those dratted nerve endings quickly reminded him, though, and he sat back down with a modern oath that she had never heard fall from Maximus' lips before.  Her eyes widened and he grimaced, adding for her benefit, "Damn Sid!"  

 

 

Jack came in, holding out a freshly carved cane that he had fashioned for his friend.  "Just temporary," the Captain said, handing it to him. "I thought you might like to go with the rest of us down for the first day's filming."

Indeed, our intrepid cast had not been with Jack whilst ’Master and Commander’ was being filmed and, as is widely known in epis but greatly and most thoroughly hushed in the remainder of the universe, Cinderella Man had been filmed in that single afternoon by Himself and his 25 then existing counterparts.  Eucalyptus would be a new experience for them.  Each of the characters had, of course, been with Himself during the filming of their individual movies...that was inescapable...but the wimmenfolk had yet to see just how Himself went about practicing his craft.  Even the other male characters had only witnessed this from the inside, so to speak, and standing on the edges looking on would be new to them all.

The movie was being filmed out of sequence and this very first scene involved Teller settling down for a rest in the shade of a yook.  Himself huddled quickly with Jack and Bud, asking them not to let the limping Maximus out of their sight. He had Terry in a tall yook, keeping an eye out for Sid, while Zack and Biebe stood in the shadows just off toward the river. Cort, though a lawman, was currently still of little use to anyone but Sue.  

 

 

Jocelyn would have manfully attempted to ignore the lot of them, but being a woman and all, was having a bit of a problem accomplishing that to any truly great extent.   Using a megaphone of genuinely great proportions, she bellowed, "QUIET ON THE SET!"

                                    

Every eye focused on Himself who stood just out of camera range. HOW did he DO what he did?  He closed his eyes a moment, some deep process going on deep within.  Opening them, his face shifted just a bit,his body moved just a bit differently, he took two steps forward, taking him into the frame of the scene and...and...it was like he walked through some invisible though slightly gelatinous wall and was...gone.  Himself was gone, had simply disappeared, and taking the third step was...Teller.  

 

 

The women all gasped...loudly.

Andy said, "WOW! Would you look at THAT!"  Loudly.

                                
 

Jim turned to Jewelie, saying, "I didn't get a gelatious wall."

 

 

"I know, I know," she comforted, "but it wasn't your fault.  It wasn't Ron's fault. It was...SID!"  

 

 

Phyllis called, "HIMSELF? Where did Himself go??"

 

 

Jack said, "Thank God this gang was not in Mexico!"  

 

 

And Jocelyn?  Well, Jocelyn called, "CUT!" and sat down hard on the grass again.  

 

Jeffrey said, "Maybe we should be sure she is near a chair during filming?"

 

 

Teller turned and Himself was back.  "GUYS!!!" he called.  Now he would have to start over and get gelatin all over himself, er, Himself, again.  He sighed. And this was supposed to be an easy, short shoot.

 

Sidimus had passed another long, dark night in the shed.  He had sat there alone, leaning against the mesh on the wall, able to see nothing except the pictures his mind would not stop painting of Sid in his bed with Joimus.  He hoped the wound he'd been able to inflict might at least serve to limit Sid's activities in that regard.  He smiled grimly at the strangeness of damaging his own body as he had done.  He had, truth be told, intended far more, so urgent was his need to stop Sid at any price.  His horror had now boiled all the liquid parts of itself away, leaving only the hard lump of anger, of hatred centering in on bringing about an end to Sid...no matter what. In all his years of plotting against the General, Sid had never quite managed to recall into being the Maximus who had palmed the broken arrow in the arena that hot afternoon. Now...he had. Of all the large epi cast, only Himself had ever met that Maximus. 

                                    

It was mid-morning and that Maximus sat now in the shed...and wanted to be free.  He considered his enemy carefully, knowing he must use the context of that life and not the experience of his own as Maximus in order to find his route to freedom.  He cast his mind back to campfire talk in far away deserts, in nearly-forgotten mountain passes.  Sid, liking to be the center of attention, often told stories of his strength, his abilities to leap and flip, his regeneration of his fingertip in those first out-of-pod experiences of his being set loose on the world.  Sidimus looked down at the blue stain on the disgusting suitcoat. Yes, he knew himself how Sid's body "healed" itself with silicon.  He had never listened, really, to Sid's tales before but was finding that information that had been imparted had made little places for itself, all unbidden, in the deep recesses of his mind.  Intensely focused, Sidimus brought up all he knew of Sid.  And he smiled.  Of course!  Now he knew how to free himself from the titanium alloy manacle.  It was so...simple.