SONS OF THE FATHERS

Chapter 19:  Crashing Into The Language Barrier

The two of them made their way out of the Opera Hall and were just about to enter the foyer when they saw the four guards marching Maximus and Terry out the main door.  Jim, a good and decent man who had never EVER been in ANY sort of untoward situation before his epilife had begun, watched with rounded eyes.

 

Himself, of slightly more volatile temperament than the world champion boxer, leaned against the wall, closed his eyes and, banging his head against the paneling, murmured, "Shit, shit, shit," over and over.
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A fifth guard, in the act of drawing his gun, ran out the door of the Opera Hall. Jim saw him coming and shook Himself to get his attention, pointing at the guard. The two of them ran toward a side hallway, but Jim, turning to look back at the guard, tripped over a bench and went sprawling.  "RUN!" he called to the hesitating
Himself.  "Somebody's got to save Bunny! RUN!"

The six by the main door all also turned at the sound of the commotion. When Maximus heard what Jim shouted, he yelled, "She's in LABOR!"

 

Himself's eyes widened considerably, but he gathered himself and dashed up a stairway, disappearing into the darkness of a distant passageway.

As the fifth guard handcuffed a quite chagrined Braddock and led him up to join his mates, the senior guard looked curiously at Maximus.  "Labor?  Who's in labor?"

Maximus sighed heavily.  "An Englishwoman on the roof."

"There's a Pommy Sheila on a shell?" the guard gasped.

Maximus had no idea what the man was saying.  He tried desperately to compose himself.  "My son is about to be born," he said with great dignity.  

"Why'n bloody 'ell is your wife on the roof, Mate?" the guard replied, astounded.

Terry spoke up.  "It's why he was trying to break down the door. Bunny was on the platform outside, but it collapsed and she was standing on the ledge."

The guard looked at his fellows.  "There's a bloody 'are on the ledge TOO?"

"No!" Terry sighed.  "Not a rabbit.  Bunny!"

"Now is that not what I bloodywell said, Mate?" the guard snarled, losing his patience.

Jim joined in.  "Bunny IS the Englishwoman," he supplied helpfully.

The senior guard frowned now at Braddock.  "And who might YOU be, Mate?"

The fifth guard spoke up.  "The Opera Theater stage...it's bloodywell destroyed."  He nodded toward Jim.  "I think this one here and his mate are the ones done it."

A sixth guard ran up.  "The glass front of the high shell's been shattered," he announced breathlessly.

The senior guard surveyed the three felons in custody.  Obviously this was some plot of major proportions to destoy the single structure most representative of Sydney, if not all Australia.  "You!" he said, indicating Maximus.  "Where're you from?"

"You don't have to answer that," Terry said softly.

But Maximus glared at the man and replied, "Spain," in his Royal Shakespeare two pints after lunch accent as he stood there dressed in full Roman military attire.

"Bloody nong!" the guard growled and turned to Jim.  "And you?"

"Joisey" Jim said.

"He don't sound like any Channel Islander I've ever heard," commented another guard.

"He doesn't mean 'old' Jersey," Terry explained.  "He means 'New' Jersey."

"Bloody shonky seppo," the guard spat, narrowing his eyes even more, then turning to study Terry.  "You're an Aussie," he said, "so why would you attack our Opera House?"

"We weren't attacking it, Mate," Terry replied.  "We were trying to save the woman on the roof.  That's all."

"So where's this sheila now?" the guard asked.

"Still up there as far as we know,"  Terry said.  "The door was jammed.  They couldn't  have gotten back in that way."

"They?"

"Um, someone was with her," Terry murmured.

"Someone? Who?"

Terry's eyes met Maximus'.  How to explain this? He licked his lips before continuing. "The man who wrecked the Opera Hall stage," he said quietly.

The guard smiled strangely.  "You want me to believe...that?"

"Nevertheless, it's true,"  Terry said.  "He wants the baby."

"It's MY son!" Maximus spat.

"You're the father, then?"

"It was...my...seed," Maximus replied.

"Odd way of puttin' it, Mate," the guard said, cocking his head a bit.

"Well," Jim interjected, "it WAS his seed.  He just wasn't there at the time."

The guard turned his attention to the boxer.  "Wasn't...there...at the time?"

"No," Jim continued.  "He was chained in a shed."

The guard thought about this for a moment, not noticing the wild eye movements Terry was making to try and signal Jim to be quiet.  "And...so...how could his, um, seed, get into the rabbit if he was chained in a shed somewheres else?"

"Sid did it."

"Sid?"

"The man on the roof with Bunny.  The one who destroyed the stage."

"So...it's really this Sid's baby?"

"NO," Maximus said firmly, "he's MY son!"

"Well, Mate, if she has it on the roof it may not bloodywell matter who the Dad is.  Not a bloody good place for such a thing."

Despite his handcuffs, Maximus took off running toward the stairs.  He HAD to get to Bunny!  But two of the guards charged after him, tackling him halfway across the foyer and he went down, chin-first onto the floor, unable to use his hands to break his fall.  He lay there, completely stunned for a moment, as the others all ran up.

"Bloody 'ell!" cried a guard.  "Why'd he take off like that?"

Terry, utterly frustrated by the way this was going, snapped, "Because his son is being born on the ROOF!  That's why!" He squatted beside the General. "Maximus?" he called softly.

With a groan, Maximus rolled onto his side, the taste of blood filling his mouth from where his teeth had sunk into his lower lip.  "Do...door," he gasped.

"What's he say?"

"He wants someone to check the door and see if Bunny can be brought in that way," Terry explained.  "It's not unreasonable, is it?"

"Not if you actually believe there's a  rabbit on the roof," the guard said warily, figuring like as not the whole flamin' story was a bit of a raw prawn.

"Bunny," Terry reiterated.  

"His wife, you say?" the guard asked, nodding toward Maximus, whom a guard was helping to a seated position.

"No, they're not married."

"She married to that Sid bloke, then?"

"No, she's not married to any one."

"Bit of a tart, eh?" the guard leered.

"It's not like that," Terry sighed.

Himself leaned over a high railing, studying the people far below.  He'd not been able to locate the right door and he was worried about his three characters as well. He couldn't let them be arrested.  None of them had any real, um, proof of life, and he knew they'd be deported if only the government could figure out where to deport them to.  Or else they'd be locked away in some loony bin.  He sprinted quickly back down the corridor to a bank of pay phones he'd noticed earlier. As he searched his pockets for change, he thought once again how he really MUST get himself a world-wide cell phone!  Who knew when he might find himself, er, Himself in some strange godforsaken place like Vladivostok or, worse, New York City, and need to make some vital call? He shivered at the sheer horror of the thought!  

Finding what he required, he quickly dialed his home phone number. Phyllis answered.  Without preamble, he launched into a breathless description of what he needed and that he needed it NOW.  Blowing out a long breath, he returned to the railing to keep an eye on his characters.  Two guards were supporting Maximus between them as he gained his feet and stood swaying, blinking his eyes.  Blood trickled from his lip down into his beard.  

The senior guard studied the man.  Finally he shrugged.  "Guess it'll do no harm to go check on the rabbit."  

The group walked toward the stairs, Maximus' knees almost buckling a couple of times. The two guards kept a firm grip on his arms, though, and they made it to the next level and down a long hallway to a bank of elevators.  "Best use the lift," the guard said.  "Don't think this bloke has any more steps in 'im."  

Meanwhile,  Bunny was busily birthing.  Sid had raided the prop department for some days now and she lay in a huge four-poster bed with white netting draped all around.  Bunny, busily birthing, also breathed.  "Hoo...hoo...hoo...," she breathed, blowing out short, sharp gasps of air.  

"Doin' good, Baby!" Sid encouraged.

She wondered how he KNEW she was doing good.  Fervently, she hoped the pictures he'd studied had been of human birthing procedure.  It was just as well she didn't realize how distracted he'd gotten in the veterinary medicine section of the library.  

Bud scowled.  "WHAT did you say?"

Phyllis repeated Himself's message almost word for word. "He said, 'We're in a kafuffle with the police and Maximus, Jim, and Terry are being hauled off to gaol and all of us are to plant our feet in the flamin' SUVs quick smart and chuck a U-ey by the Opera House before we sink the boot for a Barney since we have to shoot through Sydney and nick out, hopefully with some bush tucker.'"  

 

She blinked twice, looking around at the gathering of the 20 remaining characters, Stephen, and the womenfolk."Oh, and Bunny's giving birth on the roof."

Bud raised one eyebrow.  "I THOUGHT that's what you said."

"Well, when he's stressed, Himself's Strine tends to flow faster," she shrugged.

Hando stepped forward with a big, sloppy, anticipatory grin on his face."Too right!" he chortled.  "His Nib's narked and wants the lot of us to come shellack the piss-weak ratbags done cuffed the Gen'ral, the Agent, and the Wharfie then bail out for Bullamanka."  His pleasure at the thought was palpable, though, alas, there was no time to spare for the former Welshwoman to palpate the Melbourner.

"Could someone repeat the message in a language other than Australian?"  Biebe asked hopefully.

Egan smiled.  "There's been some sort of disturbance at the Opera House and Maximus, Terry, and Jim have been arrested and are about to be jailed.  Himself wants us to come as fast as we can in the SUVs and make a U-turn by the Opera
so the cars will be facing the right direction as he wants us to come inside full out and prepared for a fight, after which we'll have to disappear from Sydney in a hurry and go someplace else for a while. And it would be good if we had a few supplies along."

"Caaarn!" cried Andy, heading for the door.  Strine was running rampant.  

"Caaarn?" repeated Alex.

"Come on!" Johnny explained.  "It's a footy cry." He grinned at Andy. "I'm ready to give it a burl if you are."

"He's...crowning!" Bunny gasped.  

Sid went off into realms of sheer delight at the concept of his son being crowned. Why hadn't he thought of that before?  Of COURSE his son would be a ruler among men!  He would be so much better than all the rest of them that it was...inevitable!

"SID!" Bunny bellowed, her face red with the effort of much pushing.  But Sid was humming some grand march, his eyes cast up toward the ceiling.  

 

"SID!"

"You rang?" he inquired distractedly.  

"Get down there!" she practically spat.  "He's almost out!"

"Out? Oh...goody!"  He positioned himself but when he caught sight of the top of a wet, darkly-curled head, everything changed and he was instantly both professional and intensely involved.  Much to Bunny's relief, he seemed to know exactly what to do and in a matter of moments, the male child was wrapped in a soft towel and nestled in his arms.  

"Commodus," he said, looking down at the tiny face.  

"No," Bunny said firmly.  "No."

"No?"

"No."

"What then?"

"Livius Vitus."  She would deal with the problem of the last name later. She looked at Sid with a strength in her eyes that almost took him aback.  Then she smiled, her face softened, and she whispered, "Livi."

"This is...important...somehow?" he asked.

"Very."

"Here!" Terry shouted.  "This is the door!"  

One of the guards fumbled with a key, but the door was firmly jammed. He produced some multi-purpose tool from his belt and after several minute's effort, had it detached from its hinges.  Setting the door against an inner wall, and with
one of his fellows tightly holding onto his belt, he leaned out the opening.  "Nothing there!" he called back.  

"She was to the left," Terry said.  

"Nope!  Ledge's empty."

Maximus sagged in his guards' arms.  Had she...fallen?  He needed to see for himself.  "Please?" he whispered.  And, so, arms locked through his elbows as his hands were still cuffed behind him, they let him lean out the doorway.  There was, indeed, no trace of Bunny at all.  He turned his eyes hesitantly down to the pavement far below, sucking in a sharp breath of relief when her form was not there, either.  But...where? He looked up, then, at the curve of the shell and how the tiles were joined on its surface.  Sid.  He would be able to climb that.  Even
carrying Bunny he would be able to.  His eyes traced the roofline to the next, higher shell.  

Letting himself be pulled back into the hallway, he said, "I think I know why the glass was broken."  As Maximus explained his theory, Terry nodded assent. It made sense.  

The senior guard was not so sure.  "How do we know there was ever even a rabbit on the ledge in the first place?"

"Bunny," Terry corrected.  "Look," he continued reasonably, "the platform is gone. You found us trying to open the door.  Why would we be doing that with the platform already gone if we weren't trying to save someone on the ledge?"  Licking his lips, he then continued.  "If we were merely trying to escape, we wouldn't have been going out...that... way, now would we, Mate?"  

The guard studied him long and hard.  Blast the bloke! He DID have a point!  "But what about him?" he asked, pointing at Jim.  "What about the destruction in the Opera Hall?"  

"I was on the stage with Himself...er...my friend...when someone... Sid...below the stage started the revolve, um, revolving.  Then the scenery lifts came up and pieces of stuff started falling on the revolve and shooting all over the place.  But we didn't do it... we couldn't have done it because we weren't anywhere near the controls for it."  

"There's ANOTHER one of you blokes loose in the Opera House?" the guard frowned. Jim nodded, quite unable to be dishonest even about that.  He met the guard's stare with frank and open eyes.  After a while, the guard smiled slightly. He'd been around a long time and could recognize the gaze of an honest man when he saw it. "Uncuff the blokes," he ordered, then added as they returned to the foyer, "but you'll all have to come in and make a report tonight."

Maximus rubbed his wrist then cupped his hand gingerly around his jaw, closing his eyes a moment.

"Still hurts?" Terry asked.

The General nodded, opened his eyes, and managed a bit of a wry smile. Then his face darkened and he said, "We still have to find where Sid has taken Bunny."

"Right!" Terry agreed.  He had just turned to ask the guard something when the main doors burst open and most of the cast flooded in. Aubrey and Rose had stayed in one of the cars with Joimus and Dess, but everyone else was there.  The guards were shocked, even appalled by the strange apparitions of supposed humanity.  

"What the flamin' bloody 'ell NOW?" one of them moaned.  

Himself walked up from some side doorway.  "Sorry, but I'd sent for the cavalry." He shrugged.  "I thought we might need 'em."  

The senior guard stared at Himself.  "Don't I know you?"

Phyllis took Himself's arm.  "He raises cattle...angus...up north.  You must be mistaking him for someone else."  

No one really noticed right at that minute that Maximus had gone alone down the hallway.  He stopped, bracing himself with his left hand against a wall, still feeling shaken from his earlier impact with the flooring.  Bunny was in this building... somewhere...giving birth to his son.  The muscle under his eye twitched.  By the gods, he would find them!