Maximus was finally able to pry the UrpUrp's jaws far enough apart to look inside. He, Joimus, and BertiVet were all on their knees, peering into the BIG FISH. Joimus and BertiVet turned and stared at one another, saying in unison, "It CAN'T be!"

*************************************************************

.....Juditha maintained her desperate grip on Stephen's trouserlegs. Fond as she was of Nash, as little as she truly cared to see him devoured by pygmy matheaters, yet she would NOT let Stephen leave her captain...not after the heart-wrenching sight of the weather channel. Stephen's form wavered a few moments longer then settled back into solidity. Being Charles, it seemed, would just have to wait. Besides, hadn't Jo asked Bud and Terry to go after Nash? As competent as the two of them were, Nash was as good as saved already, wasn't he?

The doctor, once freed from Juditha's deathgrip, walked back over to the vine hammock and lifted Jack's eyelid for another check. Instantly he was beyond glad that Juditha had kept Charles from coming. "Oh, JUDITHA!" he cried, "There is TRULY not a moment to lose!"

"What do you mean? What did you see in his eyeball this time?" Staggering over beside the surgeon who was still holding open Jack's left eyelid, she bit down hard on her knuckle to stifle the scream that rose in her throat as she beheld the sight of the giant propeller rising in the cold night sky, the dozens of passengers falling and leaping from the stern of the enormous vessel. Her eyes locked with those of Stephen's as he nodded gravely, both of them knowing their captain had encountered an iceburg and would shortly be sinking. Never, in all the history of epidom, had a character been in such a tragic situation. With trembling lips, Juditha murmured, "He can't sink. He just CAN'T! His movie is being rereleased on the morrow. Whatever would the Surprise DO without its brave captain?"

Ando, passing by in Hando's arms, overheard and remarked, "Perhaps Depp could...." but was silenced by the terribleness of Juditha's scowl.

Meanwhile, over at the molten swamp at dinnertime, Terry's head was almost down to the slimey surface. The multi-faceted eyeballed creatures had gone for their forks. It was lookin' almost as bad for the K&R agent as for the ship's captain. What had HAPPENED to the epis?? Were it not for the loud slurping noises the creatures were making in anticipation of Ugandan fried agent, Terry would have still been able to hear Nash's cries for Charles to save him from the pygmy matheaters. Terry clenched his teeth, trying one last desperate reach for the termite mound at the edge of the swamp. His fingers touched its topmost point but were beginning to slip when a strong young grip, accompanied by a deep rumbly chuckle, grasped his wrist and pulled him over to the side. "SID?" Terry exclaimed, amazed the chipman had actually done something decent for once. But then his seagreen eyes narrowed as he saw why.

                                                    

"OoooOooooo....Sid!" murmured Bunny, squeezing the chipster's bicep. "You're SO strong!" Sid flashed his white, perfect teeth at her and led her down a path to a small clearing where the bung grasses were especially soft. Terry, watching them, shook his head. English rabbits! How easily they were charmed by the perfect male form. He turned back to the swamp, and using a long branch, managed to pull Bud over to the side of the swamp and release him from the snare.

Just then Ann located her man. "Terry," she asked, "why didn't you use your equipment to save Bud instead of that branch?"

Terry grinned, "This is not, you know, The Sum of Us. I only use my equipment when YOU are around." Ann giggled, knowing how true were his words. Nash's cry reverberated again through the jungle. "Did you hear that wail?" Ann asked.

Amanda, alas, had been close enough to hear the question. "NoooOooOooooooo...." she shrieked, running off through the underbrush, "NOT more whales!"

Bud, always concerned for the well-being of womenfolk, looked at Ann. "Choose your verbiage more carefully," he suggested.

Down at the riverside, still staring into the mouth of the UrpUrp, Joimus and BertiVet exchanged looks. So THAT was what had been carved into the mouth of the BIGGER FISH in the high cave. Maximus was serious now as he once again reached his hand into the fish's mouth, this time bringing out the object. It rested there upon his open palm, glittering in the Ugandan sunlight. It was a ring. "Is it the ONE ring?" BertiVet gasped softly, remembering how catching a fish had led to the discovery of that particular piece of jewelry. She looked at Joimus suspiciously, hoping that bankside fisticuffs would not shortly ensue.

"No," Maximus said, "that one was a solid gold circlet...this one has a jewel." BertiVet popped Joimus. It was the only way to refocus her attention as her brain had obviously wandered at the thought of Maximus and...jewels. How well she knew the Pittsburgher! "PG, Joimus! PG! Even in your thought realms!"

With the General of the Armies of the North kneeling a mere 6 inches from her side, his seagreen eyes fastened on her face, Joimus blushed. "Ummmm....the ring, " she stammered, "you said there were...jewels...on the ring?" She reached out her hand and turned the aforementioned item in Maximus' palm so that the setting faced her. The gold formed the shape of a scarab (fancy Egyptian lingo for dung beetle, truly!) with a single, large, brilliantly deep blue stone upon its back. On one side of the scarab, she noticed a tiny clasp. "I believe there is a secret compartment under the belly of the beetle," she commented.

Maximus held the ring upright in his large fingers and carefully undid the clasp. The trio looked into the small chamber that was revealed. It was filled with something glitteringly blue...and sticky. "Nanogoo!" yelped BertiVet.

Maximus frowned. "You mean that crap that Sid has instead of blood?"

"Yes!" cried BertiVet. "This is ancient Egyptian nanogoo!"

"But...but...HOW did it get into this ring?" Joimus wondered. "And whatever is it FOR?"

Cyd had been listening for a while, unseen. Now she stepped forward, remarking, "You know all those theories about how aliens built the pyramids? Well, one of the more seemingly implausible stories has a race of cyberbeings using nanogoo to power the computerized chipfolk who did the actual construction.

The trio stared at her, trying to absorb the implications of this statement. Could Sid have been around for a lot longer than they had known...a LOT longer??? And WHY was this ring carved on the wall of the high cave that Sid had definitely seemed to know was there? And WHY were there blue lights already installed in said cave...lights with only one purpose...to aid Sid in his goal of being the ONLY character!!!

Joimus' eyes narrowed as she recalled how exposure to the blue plasma ball had restored the characters to human form. Yes, she thought, this nanogoo could well prove to be a major plot device!!!

Just then Juditha burst out of the underbrush, tears streaming down her lovely face. She tripped and fell, saved only by Maximus' quick move to catch her. She lay, her whole body wracked with sobs, against his chest. "What is the matter, my dear?" he asked, grave concern lowering his voice to a still deeper key.

Grateful as Juditha was for the Maximus-moment, she turned her tear-stained face up and was barely able to gasp out, "J...J...Jack!"

"What about Jack?" the General asked.

"His...his...ship....is..is..is...sinking!" Again she buried her face into Maximus' chest.

"You mean the Surprise? The Surprise is sinking?" he asked, both concerned and puzzled.

"N...n...no...not Surprise," Juditha's muffled voice continued shakily. "Jack's SHIP!" The other four cast members exchanged baffled looks.

"Which ship?" Maximus asked, gently stroking her hair.

"In his....eyes....his...ship...," she tried to explain.

The General repeated, "His...eyes?" He shook his head, not understanding her meaning.

Once again Juditha lifted her head, "Oh, Maximus! You must save him! Don't let him die!"

The import of her words struck him at last...like a blow from a Zucchabarian practice sword. He rose to his feet, sweeping Juditha into his arms, his seagreen eyes fairly blazing with determination. The ring was grasped so tightly in his clenched fist that his knuckle scar...the one Jack also bore...stood out whitely. He had not pushed walnut shell halves around with arrow tips for years for nothing...no...he was a master of great strategy...and sudden knowing... understanding... welled up within him like a ruptured aquifer. Not even pausing to emote the "moment to lose" line, he sprang up the hill and dashed down the trail to the clearing where Stephen hovered over Jack's still form. Joimus, BertiVet, and Cyd followed closely at his heels. Setting Juditha gently on her feet, he approached Stephen, opening his fist to reveal the ring. "I'm glad you are here, Doctor," he said, "I think perhaps you can put this to good use."

Stephen took the ring and, at Maximus' instruction, opened the clasp. Just then, from the hammock, came a sound...the long swoosh as a giant stern began its swift glide beneath the sea. "NoooooOOOOOoo!" shrieked Juditha, falling to her knees in anguish. Stephen was so startled by the swoosh that he dropped the ring, its contents spilling onto the bung grass. Every eye opened widely in shock as the nanogoo began to sink into the African soil. NEVER had an epiplot reached THIS level of tragedy!!

Then, or, rather, just slightly earlier....in a not-far-away-clearing where the native bung grass was flattened like unto pink Fuegan sponge...Bunny leaned back on her elbows, grinning at the blue plasma ball floating a yard above her. Yes, Sid was...happy. Bunny was...happy. It was such a happy, happy wittle epi with all the butterflies flitting about and the sunbeams doing their beamy thing and the puffly clouds so very puffly. It was perfect.

Well (and experienced epireaders know that ANY sentence that begins with the dreaded "well" portends great iffiness for the continuation of such a state of being),except (and "except" is usually even worse than "well") for the enormous rhino that burst out into the clearing, snorting, pawing, looking for something to gore with its sharp horn. Her misspent life of indulgence in over-ripe carrots, of hours spent highlighting and curling her cottontail, of her weakness for perfectly-formed but somewhat less than noble characters...all of it flashed before the bunny's eyes.

At least, she thought, my last few moments were...happy. Then her eyes widened as she saw that the rhino was actually....Maximus! His rage made him seem larger than usual...or it might have just been the camera angle from her position on the ground, used as it was to great effect when the General had entered the arena in Zucchabar alone, sword drawn, facing his groupling of foes. No, she decided, it was BOTH the camera angle AND his rage. And his sword was, indeed, drawn...and clenched in his fist like a coiled cobra, eager to find soft flesh for its fangs. She had never seen such a look in his segreen eyes. Bolts of lightning fairly flashed from them. His teeth were clenched...his upper lip slightly curled. And talk about your nostril flare! Wow! He advanced across the clearing, the planting of each of his booted feet sounding to her ears like brontosaurian thunder. Butterflies fled in terror. Her mind filled with only one word.....WHY.

Why was the General of the Armies of the North on such a rampage? Sid had been with her for...some time now. He couldn't have done anything....lately. How could the English rabbit, occupied as she had been with...happiness...have known of the tragic events transpiring just beyond the glompfer bushes? How could she have known of the awfulness of the sound of the swoosh being made by the downward-gliding stern of Jack's ship...or of the ancient nanogoo being sucked into the ground by greedy dry African soil particles... or of the horror in Stephen's eyes when he realized he had dropped the ring. Well, she COULD have read the last epi...but she had been...busy. Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!
                                        

Maximus halted at last, glaring at the blue ball of glowing plasma. He was thankful that epis were so littered with BugDogMomPug's baskets. In one smooth motion he had bent, grasped the nearest of the baskets, raised it, bashed the top of the plasma ball with the flat of his sword, making it plop into the wicker container, turned, and charged back off into the jungle. Bunny sat there on the flattened bung, breathing hard from the combination of the manner in which Sid had been removed and the gloriousness of the rhinosity of the enraged General.

Maximus sprinted rapidly...amazingly so for one wearing 450 pounds of armor. But he was used to its weight and even wore it whilst swimming...sometimes even in the bath. The blue plasma ball jostled around inside the basket as the General ran, small "ouch's" and "ow-ow-ow's" coming from within its glowing roundness. Ringing through Maximus' brain like the sound of a giant gong was the deadly swoosh of the submerging ship. It was mere seconds before he was back at the clearing where the moaning and gnashing of teeth were in full gear.                                       

Stephen had gone all white, still staring at the slight bluish stain left where all the nanogoo had sunk. He scarcely looked like he had any bones left to hold up his long frame. Juditha was sobbing, "No, Jack, NO!" while Joimus held her tightly. Maximus flashed a brief glance at Cyd, holding the basket out with a hopeful, yet slightly questioning look. She, who had provided him with the genesis of this whole idea, dipped her head slightly in the affirmative. "It just...might...work." She said softly, her eyes quickly sliding past the blue ground stain to the ever-more-pale captain.

Maximus dropped the basket, holding the swirling blue plasma ball between his palms, his fingers spread widely over its surface. He gritted his teeth as waves of electric shock ran up his forearms, setting all his nerve-endings afire. Stephen began to realize what the General planned to do and leaned over his captain, prying open his mouth with his long fingers. Maximus held the plasma ball six inches over Jack's face and began to squeeze. It was the worst physical pain he had ever known, but he would endure anything for friendship's sake. It took every ounce of his considerable strength, but he squeezed and squeezed until, at last, drops of glowing nanogoo began seeping out of the ball, dripping down into the captain's mouth, making little sizzling noises as they slipped down his throat. Would it work? Would it do ANYTHING other than send Jack to Davey Jones' Locker minus his uvula? Everyone in the clearing held their breath...well, except for Jack, who was, thankfully, still inhaling a bit from time to time....oh, and Maximus, who was gasping from the shocks and the exertion...and then there was Stephen, who was hyperventilating...and Juditha, who sucked in long, ragged, sobbing breaths...and Joimus, who was...well... ok...NOBODY in the clearing held their breath! Sheesh!

Maximus was starting to wobble. He regrouped and focused his entire being on the plasma ball, the muscles in his arms and neck knotting into tight cords. Everything was silent. It was then they realized that the swooshing sound had stopped. Jack coughed. Teensy bits of multi-colored confetti came up his windpipe, coating his mouth and Stephen's fingers. Stephen's white lips dared to lift their corners in the beginnings of a smile. He raised Jack's eyelid and grinned full-out. It was midnight in Time's Square! It was a new day...a whole new beginning...and Jack's picture was back at a cineplex near you! The captain's long lashes began to flutter open under their own steam...well, wind, to be historically more correct in Jack's case. Juditha fairly flung herself across his white vest in an utter abandon of joy. A flush of peachy-pink began to reappear in the doctor's skin cells.

But Joimus was NOT smiling! Not at all! She stared in horror at Maximus, who had collapsed onto his back like some giant statue pulled down by the ropes of revolutionaries. Blue streaks of electricity played over his entire body. Sid, looking very rumpled and rather deflated, stood beside him, glaring at the General. "It was his OWN fault!" he spat. Joimus' eyes narrowed as she bent, grasping the hilt of Maximus' sword, then...