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A
thud sounded at the door and he went to investigate.
Abou
Juba had kicked it, his arms being full of Lt.
Jeffarry. Maxathon
stood there, mouth agape, staring.
Abou Juba nearly dropped Jeffarry.
The African was the
first to find his voice. "I knew I would see you
again,"
he said, grinning from ear to ear,
"but not yet...not yet!"
**********
"Juba!"
cried the delighted Maxathon. "You...here?"
He looked at the
sagging Jeffarry then back up at his
old friend. "He was expiring in some desolate
wasteland?"
"Yes,"
Abou Juba replied, "about 3 or 4 pastures
over."
"That
far?" Maxathon whistled in wonderment. Maxathon
looked back down
at Jeffarry. "I see it is good
you never run out of your maggot supply."

"Truly,"
Abou Juba agreed, "though he does seem to swallow
most of them."
Jotha
joined them, wiping her hands on her pink and purple
checked apron. "Guests for breakfast?" she
asked, then added, "But I see Jeffarry has
already dined."
"N...no,"
Jeffary gasped, spitting out a particularly large and
wiggly maggot
onto the welcome mat.
Jotha,
fond as she was of Jeffarry, frowned. The one thing
she could not
abide was maggots on her clean welcome
mat. Bending down, she picked it up between thumb and
forefinger and carefully plastered it back on
Jeffarry's l
ower lip. "A..aaa...aaaagh," he
gagged.
"Some
people are just so hard to assist," Abou Juba
commented.
"Jotha,"
Maxathon said eagerly, placing his hand on her
shoulder and nodding toward the tall, handsome African
man, "This is Juba!"
"Juba?"
she exclaimed. "I should have known! Not all that
many of Maxathon's friends are dressed in leopard fur
with a full supply of maggots so readily
available!"
Abou Juba leaned Jeffarry against the
door jamb as Jotha took one of his
large hands in both
hers. "Oh, I'm so glad to meet you at last!"
she continued. "Were it not for you, there would
be some fat, happy lion running about the northern
deserts of Africa." She turned, indicating the
interior with her hand. "Please come in! You,
too, Jeffarry."
Jeffarry
staggered to a softly padded chair, flopping down
heavily. Jotha
ran quickly to the kitchen, coming back
with a mixing bowl she placed in his
lap. "To
catch falling maggots," she said softly. As glad
as he was to be an insider again rather than perishing
in some distant, desolate pasture,
Jeffarry still
looked quite despondent. "Jeffarry, what's
wrong?" Jotha
asked in concern.

"Uthne
left me," he replied, a tear tracking down his
cheek, dripping onto
his lip where its saltiness made
a maggot cry out.
"I
did not know that," Abou Juba said seriously.
"What?
That Uthne left him?" Jotha asked.
"No.
That maggots had vocal cords."
Turning
back to Jeffarry, Jotha continued, "Why did she
leave you?"
"I...I...didn't
save annsail!" he cried, burying his face in his
hands, choking
on a few more inwardly-directed
wound-healers.
Jotha
gasped, looking at Maxathon with wide eyes. "Annsail
was not...saved!
How could annsail not be saved?"
Maxathon
squatted in front of the distraught Jeffarry.
"Tell me," he rumbled, "How and from
what was annsail not saved?"
Jeffarry
opened reddened eyes. "Por...porcupines," he
stammered.
Maxathon
turned his head, looking up at the hovering Jotha, his
brow
creased. "Are there porcupines in this
storyline?" he asked her.
Swallowing
hard, she responded, "Well...yes. But just a
small herd of a few thousand migrating albino ones is
all."
Maxathon
sighed deeply, then looked back at Jeffarry. "Did
she perish upon their spines?"
"No,"
he whispered, "there were giant logs
and...and...huge chunks of the exploded dam."
Looking
back at Jotha, Maxathon said softly, "Now really,
Jotha!" She
shrugged and made a small grimace.
"How did she...meet her doom?" he
finally
asked.

Jeffarry
let out a long, ragged breath.
"She...didn't," he said. "Terry cut
the
ends of the suspension bridge."
Not
at all surprised at that, Maxathon went on, "Then
why, Jeffarry, why
did Uthne leave YOU?"
"Because,"
he sobbed, "I was there FIRST! She... she gave
me...this." He
held out the black crowe feather
in shaking fingers.

Maximus
whistled in surprise, taking the feather in his own
hand. He stood, looking directly at Jotha. "Do
you know what this means?"
"I...I'm
trying desperately to figure it out," she said,
biting her lip,
"but juggling eleven plus movies
isn't all that easy, you know." Her eyes
filled
with tears and she ran back into the kitchen to pour
more canned mushrooms into the scrambled eggs.
 
Maxathon
quickly dropped the black feather into the maggot bowl
and ran
after her. She was standing in front of the
stove, stirring the eggs
furiously, her shoulders
shaking with sobs. He came up behind her, placed
a
hand on each of her shoulders, resting his chin atop
her head. "There,
there," he soothed,
"I know the eleven movie thing isn't easy."
Letting
the spoon fall into the pan and disappear beneath the
egg mixture,
she turned, burying her face in his
chest. "Oh, Maxathon, it's just so...
hard,"
she sighed. "And I used Andy in the dark, spooky
cellar instead
of Johnny and now I don't know what to
do with poor Anna Shadow."
Kissing
the top of her head, he said, "You'll figure it
out. I know you will."
"But...but...,"
she continued, "Martvy got all the comforting
last night
trying to keep Jeffius from slash and I
don't have to keep YOU from slash because you always
have ME and...and...I need comforting TOO!"
Looking
down at her up-turned, tear-stained face, a slight
smile playing
about the corners of his lips, he said,
"I shall comfort you tonight...I
promise."
How desperately she wanted to believe that, but with
the way
the blue glow was spreading down the steps
from under the locked bathroom door, she had
justifiable fears.
Back
in the living room, Jeffarry picked the black feather
up from the
bowl. Quietly he studied it now that there
were several maggots clinging to
it. He shook his head
sadly side to side. Life was on a downward spiral. He
expected if he had a mailbox these days and were to
check it, a maggot
would leer at him from atop the
bullet.

From
the porch of the neat, white farmhouse, Wannie Kinsella
called loudly, "Breakfast!"
Her husband, Lachlay, was, as usual, out wandering amongst his
cornfields.
Unlike his potato patch, which tended to
be grumpy, his cornfield always
made pleasant
conversation. This morning, though, after
deconstructing a
few Shakespearean sonnets, the corn
wanted to talk about crop circles.
"Listen, Lachlay," the cornfield said, "I know you
didn't personally build it,
but, still, they have
come."
"I'm
really sorry about that," Lachlay replied
sincerely. The corn was
beginning to sound nearly as
grumpy as the potatoes. Lachlay figured a lot
of it
had to do with the whole anti-carb movement that was
sweeping the
country.

"It's
bad enough," the corn continued, "having
acres of my stalks bent
to the ground like that, but
when those ball players slide into third base,
well,
they cause complete uprootation. It MUST stop!"
"What
about Jim Braddson?" Lachlay brought up. "He
takes off his shoes,
trying to be considerate."
"Not
good enough," the corn complained. "You must
unbuild it so they will
go away."
"Unbuild
it?" Lachlay repeated. He looked across the huge,
flattened circle
of corn then bent down and pulled one
of the stalks upright. As soon as he
let go, it
immediately fell flat again.
"OW!"
the cornfield said sharply.
Just
then Russham walked out into the circle. "Good
morning, Father Russham," Lachlay said.

Russham
smiled. It was all right again to be called 'Father'
now that he
had seen Andygan come back from the brink
of death. Besides, he WAS
rather much a father to all
the characters, now wasn't he? "Good morning,
to
you, Lachlay," Russham responded brightly,
"and what are you doing out
here so early?"
"Oh,
I was just talking to the cornfield," Lachlay
explained.
Russham
cocked one eyebrow. "Does it talk back?"
"Only
to me," Lachlay said with a slight grin.
"Most folks, knowing that
cornfields have ears,
presume they can only hear. But there's far more to
a
good cornfield than that."
   
"I
see," Russham replied, "and what does it
say?"
"Today,"
Lachlan continued, "it's upset about the baseball
players in the
crop circles."
"Indeed?"
Russham said, nodding. "I had presumed the signs
were made by
alien invaders and not baseball players.
I did see Sigourney in The Village, you know."
"Be
that as it may," Lachlay went on, "the
cornfield wishes to be unsigned."
"Completely?"
"Entirely."
Russham,
who didn't know all that much about corn since his
movies tended
to have very little of it, was at a
loss. "How is that to be done?" he asked.
"Maybe
the aliens would know?" Lachlay wondered.

"Well,"
said Russham, "when I go into The Village later
today, I shall ask Sigourney about it."
"Thank
you," Lachlan said, then they both walked off in
different directions through the standing corn.

"Humph!"
humphed the cornfield.
"I
still sometimes dream that I'm the mother of your
children," Frankianna
said softly, wistfully, as
she watched Nashtan tightening his cinch. In spite
of
her dreams, Frankianna was not yet used to the long,
blond locks that
Nashtan was now sporting, nor even
that she was actually in a movie she
had found rather
depressing, especially considering her character's
ultimate
end. Jotha, though, had convinced her that
such things never happened in
epis and, so, being the
good sport that she was, Franki got on with the job.
"I wonder why our good Captain did not get Nashtan's role?" she mused
and was surprised when
the answer came from just behind her. It was
Colonel Eastiam, Nashtan's father and a former cavalry
officer.
He
watched his son with narrowed eyes. "He hears his
own inner voices
with great clearness, Frankianna.
Such people become crazy, but they
become
legends."
She
knew it was almost an exact line from the movie and
sudden
understanding flooded through her. It wasn't
his horsemanship or
his way with cattle that had
landed him as Nashtan. Eastiam walked
away, leaving Frankianna alone with his son. Nashtan turned, smiling
at
her with his ever-beguiling smile. "I'll wait
for you, Nashtan. However
long it takes. I'll wait for
you forever."
"I
will be gone many, many years," he said,
intending to sail the
South Seas.
"Hmmmm?"
she thought. There he went again. Long blonde
hair...sailing
the seas. Casting was just
so...so...inscrutable. He kissed her softly,
tenderly,
then mounted and rode into the cornfield. She watched
his
head and shoulders above the tall stalks as he got
further and further
away.
"Good-bye, my
love!" she called. He heard and turned, lifting
his hand
for one final wave, but with a sudden whumping whoosh, disappeared down
into the dense
stalks.
Russham,
passing by on his way into The Village, commented,
"Aliens or
ball players. Hard to know which from
this distance."
"Aliens
or ball players?" Frankianna repeated, greatly
agitated from
Nashtan's sudden downward whoosh.
"That
got 'im," Russham explained. "Too far away
to tell which."
"That..that...GOT...him?"
she stammered.
"Yep,"
Russham said. "He's either dismembered or got a
catcher's mitt
by now."

"Is...is..this
hell?" Frankianna asked.
"Nope...it's
Pennsylvania," Russham replied cheerily.
Having
left Sinnie to deal with a now-enlightened Cort,
Budeph and
Bertannon continued their be-oaked stroll.
"What kind is that?" asked
Bertannon,
pointing to a nicely-shaped, though still young tree.
"It's
a quercus muhlenbergii," he answered,
"sometimes called a chinkapin."
He hesitated
a bit then added, "It's thought to have the
sweetest of all
acorns."
"Do
you have a story for me?" she prodded, wanting to
hear again the
sound of his voice in storytelling
mode.
"The
young plumber ran home through the familiar
streets...." he began.
Jeffius
woke with a start and looked around. Though the air
was still
filled with the scent of freshly made honey
almond pastries, Martvy was
not in the house. What was
it that had awakened him? He ran out to the
porch,
looking toward the yellow farmhouse. Martvy had been
returning
home, counting the 39 steps 12 times to
allow for the distance, when
the dormer window of the
upstairs bathroom of the yellow house blasted
outward.
The force of it caused Martvy to stumble and fall to
her knees. Instantly Jeffius was beside her, lifting
her up, running his hands all over
her to make sure
she was in one piece. "Do...do you
need...comforting,
Martvy?" he asked.
"I'm
sure I shall very shortly, Jeffius," Martvy said,
"but tell me what happened?"

Jeffius
looked toward the yellow farmhouse. "There's a
big hole in the
house," he said, "and I see Bunna Bang standing inside, looking out."
"What's
she looking at?" Martvy asked.
"Oh,
NO!" Jeffius gasped.
"What's
the matter? What IS it?" Martvy asked, getting a
bit impatient
as very intelligent women are wont to do
when handsome, young males
describe things a bit too
slowly.
"Sid's...happy,"
he croaked.
"NO!"
shouted Martvy. "Bunna wouldn't let that
happen...again...
would she?"
"She
may have," Jeffius gulped, watching the giant
blue plasma ball rolling
into the cornfield.
  
"Not
the cornfield!" shrieked Frankianna. "Nashtan's
in the cornfield!"
"So's
Lachlay," said Wannie.
"As
are the ballplayers and the aliens," added
Russham.
Maxathon
rushed out of the yellow farmhouse, Abou Juba and
Jotha
close behind him, Jeffarry just a bit further
back. Biebill ran toward
the large bell that served as
The Village's alarm, giving it a mighty
puckwhack. The
sound rolled over the hills, summoning all the
scattered characters to assemble on The Village green.
Maxathon seemed
determined to follow the crispy blue
trail into the corn.
"You
CAN'T!" Jotha cried desperately.
Looking
at her, mouth grim, he said, "I must. He's my
son."
"No,
he's not!" Jackonel Crowethor announced.
Maxathon
looked from Jackonel to Jotha and back again, a scowl
gathering
on his face. With just the slightest rasp,
his gladius was in hand and he
had taken a step toward
the older Crowethor, so easy was it to get caught
up
in the moment of an epi. Just then, Terry ran onto the
green, his facial
camo rather smeared and with clovers
clinging to it here and there. Quickly
he placed
himself between the two men, as was, indeed, his
correct
positioning in any filmography. "What's
going on?" he asked, turning his
head back and
forth from Maxathon to Jackonel.
Maxathon
growled. "He was in my bed!"
Terry
gulped, finding this too hard to believe, what with
the way Jotha
always dealt with slash and all.
"That can't be true," he said, "surely
there
is some explanation."
Maxathon
spat on the lawn. "He says he fathered Jotha's
child."
Terry's
eyes widened considerably and he turned to look at
Jackonel.

"I
said no such thing!" Jackonel retorted. "I
said Sidark was not your son."
"That's
true," Biebill agreed. "It's what he
said."
Maxathon
took another step, causing Terry to stumble.
"Whose, then?"
he hissed.
"Marlon
Brando's," Jackonel replied.
"Gosh!"
Russham said admiringly. "I used to want to be
like Marlon Brando."
Maxathon
whirled on Jotha. "Who is he?" he rumbled,
his eyelid twitching.
"He's
Sidark's real father," Jackonel tried to explain,
"only it gets
confusing because Terrence Stamp
who used to be the bad General is now Sidark's
Dad."
"A
bad General?" Maxathon repeated, most of what
Jackonel having said
being jibberish to him...as,
indeed, it likely is to most hapless readers do
they
not watch the WB at 8 on Wednesdays. "What bad
General?"
"You
wouldn't know him, Maxathon," Terry added.
"Zod,"
Biebill supplied.
"I
thought he was Buzz Lightyear's evil Dad,"
Jeffius interjected.

"No,
that's Zurg," Biebill, who seemed to know such
things, corrected.
Maxathon
was breathing heavily. Face sagging, he looked at
Jotha."How...
many?" he whispered.
Jotha
stretched herself up to her full height of 5' 4
1/2". She wasn't sure whether to be insulted,
worried, or angry...so she decided to go for them
all
at once. "Maximus!" she said, setting her
jaw. "Remember the wheat...
the dance...the
cellular dissolution? How COULD you think I
would...would... with...with...."
"Well"
Jack said, returning to full Captain-speak,
"there was the room
filled with pink
sponge."
"Oh...oh...,"Jotha
spluttered, "that was...that was...."
"That
was WHAT?" Maximus said, his seagreen eyes the
merest slits.
"That
was before the epis were on Enchantments!" she
defended.
Maximus
turned his narrowed gaze on the Captain.
"Sponge?" he said, the
word all low and
deadly.
Jack's
fond grin of remembrance did little to help the
situation.
"Jack! Stop that!" Jotha shouted.
She looked at the General. "I was being
good to
Juditha," she said quickly. "I was letting
you be with her, only
Sid had you locked in his
laboratory and was trying to embed computer
chips in
your brain and you weren't having all that good a time
of it."
He
took a step back. "I was...suffering...and you
and Jack...sponged?"
"It
was before Enchantments!" she cried."Nothing before Enchantments
COUNTS!"
(See Elder Epi: Lucilla's Party)
Jack's
smile broadened, recalling how the 12" of pink
sponge filling the round tower room had been
compressed to 3.
Maximus studied the smile, his
nostrils twitching, then turned on his heel
and ran
into the cornfield, following the singed trail of blueosity.
"NOW
look what you've done!" Jotha cried, glaring at
the Captain.
He
cocked his head, looking at her with the slightest
smile. "Did I write it?"
was all he said.

"Aggggh!"
Jotha replied, then took off running after Maximus.
Bertannon
arrived. "I smell cornstarch in the air. Did
someone just thicken
the plot?"
"Plot?"
Martvy repeated. "You know of a plot?"
Bertannon
threw back her head and laughed. Then, catching sight
of Jeffius,
she reached into her pocket and recalling Budeph's last story, tossed an
acorn to the surprised
plumber. "Here, Jeff," she said merrily,
"sweets
for the sweet."

Maximus
ran blindly through the corn stalks, their large,
sharp-edged
leaves striking his cheeks. Where was the
plasma ball? Perhaps he could
just fall into it and
forget everything? He began to search for it rather
as
a thornbird looks for the largest rose bush, driven to
the blissful
nothingness of impalement. He paused a
moment, finding some flickering connection with that
thought, then continued forward, slashing at the corn
leaves with his gladius.
Jotha
was about 30 yards behind him, tears stinging her eyes
as she
recalled his promise to comfort her tonight.
Surely he would not be
taken from her again! Surely he
would not lose all knowledge of her
identity...of his
own? She had shared him once...only once...and look
at
what her generosity of spirit was costing. Would he
ever love her
again in that full-hearted, wheatish
way? What could she say...what
could she ever DO to
make it better?

Maximus
stopped. The blue plasma ball hovered over the center
of the
largest crop circle, only a foot off the
ground. Before, back in Uganda,
it had been more the
size of a basketball...but now...it must be because
Sid was being Sidark that the plasma ball was larger,
more...charged
with power. Sheathing his sword, the
General walked slowly, deliberately
toward the ball,
only halting when he was within six feet of it. His
palms
itched and tingled as he recalled the feel of it
under his hands as he had squeezed it with all his
strength, squeezed it to save the life of the
expiring
Captain. His eyes narrowed. Perhaps he had been
mistaken to
save that particular life? He had, at the
time, been unaware of the
sponge. He stretched his
right arm out full length, permitting a small
spark to
leap from the plasma ball to his central fingertip.

At
that moment Jotha entered the circle. Her eyes widened
in pure
horror at the sight of Maximus deliberately
extending his hand toward
the plasma ball, a ball that
was a good five feet in diameter. As though
her bare
feet were winged, she ran and placed herself between
him and
the ball.

For
long moments he didn't even look at her but merely
studied the dancing
spark on his fingertip.
How...HOW...had the two of them gotten so quickly
from
apple pie to THIS? She knew, though, that it was the
implacable, inexorable law of epiangst at work.
Finally he spoke, though his words were darts of fire
to her heart.
"You think to keep me from what I
choose?"
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