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A New Jeopardy Part Four
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She sighed, her eyes brimming with tears. He was right. She knew he was right. The entire cast knew he was right. Sucking in a great, ragged breath, she nodded her head silently. Quickly he pressed his lips hard against hers, then turned, and cape flowing, dashed down the aisle. ************ The Nameless One turned his head, watching as the General swished past, then looked down at Lucilla. "Is it always like this?" he asked, a tinge of hope in his voice that it, indeed, was as there was nothing that delighted his heart more than fodder for a good story. Lucilla, well versed in things of an epiish nature, both nodded yes and shook her head side to side in resignation. She did this at the same time, a head movement that quite fascinated the Stranger. "Do you mind if I take notes?" he asked eagerly, reaching in his pocket for a small notepad.
Lucilla was quiet for a moment while her brain gently ceased its wave-like motion, then she looked at the Newcomer seriously. "I will have to call you something, you know. I'm not like that wuss, Ellen, who never needed an appellation. Have you any preferences, preferably something other than YookMan?" He raised
his seagreen eyes to the ceiling of the passenger car, giving her
request careful consideration. There was no way he could give her
his actual name as it had not yet been revealed as to whether or not
one had been invented for the screenplay. Often he found himself
referred to as The Storyteller, but that seemed way too formal for
the laxitudiness of epilife. Perhaps a nickname would better serve
the purpose here? His lips curved into a grin and he looked at
Lucilla again. "Teller," he said, chuckling softly.
"I think 'Teller' will do just fine."
Biebe flung open the door to the baggage car, and, pleased to find no other living beings in its dark confines, tucked himself securely between an old steamer trunk and a large canvas mail sack. Jack, however, upon reaching the open space where one car couples onto another, was so delighted by the great rush of cold air on his furry face that he swung himself up the small ladder and hopped out onto the roof of the passenger car. The night world was black around him and he turned his face into the wind, letting the large, blurry snowflakes impact freely on his cheeks. He would have shouted, "Ha...HAAA!" into the wind, but he was not having sex at the moment and so could not make a sound. Using his great, strong hind legs, Jack Rabbit hopped down the length of the roof, feeling alive and free as though he had just found a gap in the rabbit-proof fence and all of Australia lay open before him.
"What is THAT?" annsmac wondered as the series of loud thumps sounded down through the roof. "I'll go check," Terry said, rising from his seat. "Take your equipment!" she said quickly, fearing for his safety. "It's well-nigh impossible for me to leave it behind, now isn't it?" he chuckled, looking fondly down at his lady. "I'm
going, too," Bud said, coming up next to the K&R agent.
Terry whispered into Bud's ear, "It could be Jack up there. Take Cort with you and go up from the far end of the car. I'll approach from this end." "Not alone, you won't," Himself said firmly from behind Terry. Terry grinned, clapping his hand on Himself's bare shoulder fondly. "It's going to be cold up there," Terry said, his eyes darting from Himself's scrap of collar to his bit of scorched cuff.
"I'll live," Himself chuckled. "You'd better!" Teller said. "I need you with me in February." All the characters remaining in the passenger car looked at Himself, knowing exactly what Teller meant as each of them had, in his turn, needed Himself. Himself smiled slightly, his heart pleased. He was quite fond of his characters, some more than others, but each of them carried him within themselves... always. And two of them were in grave danger at the moment. The four men exchanged meaningful looks. Himself had been careful to see that all of his characters knew how to do that...and do it well! Then Bud and Cort headed to the coupling at the front of the car while Terry and Himself strode quickly toward the rear. Berti watched the cop's retreating back. She was not alone in that activity. The yellow sponge himself gazed in silence as the large officer closed the door behind the two characters. Then he smiled and made his way down the aisle to stand near the Central Louisianan. She looked up at him, looming porously over her, his two large incisors hanging down like sheets drying on a line. "You look like a square rabbit," she said, her eyes narrowing.
"Ah," he replied, ignoring her barb. "I have neither been bitten by a bearwolf nor had battery acid dripped into my pores." "How do you know about that?" Berti asked suspiciously, her eyes narrowing to mere slits now. "You weren't even IN the storyline when that happened." He smiled more broadly, his large pink tongue billowing behind the two glowing white dental squares. "Do you think I would enter an epi without reading backstory?" he said, bending his flattish yellow form even more closely towards her. Her eyes dropped from his teeth to his arms, thin yellow things with no biceps at all. After all her years spent with Bud, she found them more than repulsive. "You are but a CHILD!" she cried. "I have never, ever, ever been attracted to young sponges!" He laughed then, deep and almost melodiously. "If I were a child, could I have just played Aristotle in Alexander the Great?" Listening to his voice, she did have to admit he sounded rather like Christopher Plummer. "Didn't Hopkins play Aristotle?" she asked, puzzled. "He was Ptolemy. I was Aristotle." "I know I read a review that said Hopkins played Aristotle," she protested. His massive lids half-closed over his enormous eyeballs. "Is this a Colin Farrell fanfic site?" he asked brusquely. "No," she admitted. "Then let's drop the whole Alexander thing, shall we?"
Just then the former Welshwoman passed by on her way to the ladies' room. Upon hearing the dulcet tones coming from the sponge's giant mouth, she gasped, "OH, I just LOVED you in The Sound of Music!" and planted a big kiss on part of one lip. "Stop the presses! Stop the presses!" hollered Sue the Vile, yanking on Ando's elbow. "I thought Berti was supposed to have the romantic scene with the sponge!" (Joimus smiled to herself. She had promised to torture Ando, too, now hadn't she.) "Let
GO!" Ando protested, pulling her arm free from Sue's grip.
"Don't pay any attention to her, BobbieBabe," Ando cooed,
running her finger down the length of SpongeBob's protuberant nose.
A deep, rumbling growl accompanied by an ominous snap of a suspender
sounded behind her and she turned, coming face to face with a very,
very, very irate young Melbourner. "I didn't see you
there," she gasped.
"Obviously," he retorted, his eyes nearly black with wrath. "I...I...I can...explain," she murmured lamely. "This should be good," Sue chuckled, winking at Berti. With one firm hand, Hando pushed Ando down into a seat, then turned to glare at the large sponge. Grabbing Sponge Bob's nose, he wrapped it three times around his buck teeth. "Don't...you...ever..., he growled, "look at my woman...again." Then he took both of Bob's huge eyelids and let them snap like window shades. Ando sat panting in her seat, nearly overcome with passion for the skinhead. How she loved displays of brutal testosterone. "And you," he rasped, pulling her up into his arms, "you come with...me." Sponge Bob was reeling, holding onto the armrest of Berti's seat. She jabbed him with her forefinger. "Bud won't be any gentler, either," she smirked entelechyly. Once Bob was able to walk again, he made his way up the aisle, heading for the locomotive. "They'll pay!" he mumbled. "They'll ALL pay!" As he passed Sid, the Chipman leaned over to whisper to Bunny. "Who would ever have thought I would be replaced in realms villainous by a SPONGE!" Patting his
arm affectionately, she replied, "Don't worry. I'm sure it's
only temporary." Maximus walked almost silently through the darkened baggage car. Instead of a gladius, he held in his hand a large carrot which he'd dipped in honey...a perfect temptation he figured to attract a bunnybear. Carefully he looked this way and that, his seagreen eyes attempting to probe into the many dark nooks. As he passed the steamer trunk to his left, a slight rustle caught his attention and he glanced down...right into the whites of Biebe's eyes. Squatting on the balls of his feet, he extended the honey- coated carrot. Biebe sniffed the tip of the orange root, both his bunny and his bear senses fully engaged by the tasty combination. He touched it lightly with his tongue, sending his taste buds into a veritable ecstasy of delight. Maximus smiled as he slowly stood back up. Biebe unfolded himself from the small space, his face rising to follow the movement of the carrot. The General really liked the slightly younger sheriff, admiring the man's commitment to family values, his honesty and work ethic, his loyalty to his friends. "Come," he said, his voice low and steady. He backed the way he'd entered through the baggage car and was nearly to the door when said portal was smacked open by Steve. "GRAB him!" Steve shouted, catching sight of Biebe. Biebe's
eyes widened in horror. He snatched the carrot out of the distracted
General's hand and dashed for the rear door. Biting his lip to keep
from uttering a string of gutter Latin swear words, Maximus bolted
after the fleeing sheriff. Flinging open the rear door, he skidded
to a halt on the small platform at the end of the train. Biebe was
not there! He leaned as far as he could over the railing, but the
sheriff had vanished without a trace.
Meanwhile, upon the roof of the passenger car, Jack Rabbit leaned into the wind, spreading his furry arms wide, his epaulets flapping wildly. The blurry snowflakes had grown steadily larger and fell more thickly now, coating the metal roof with a slippery layer of white.
Unseen, behind him, Terry and Himself crept stealthily toward the Captain. Jack, however, had become aware of the two forms coming up off the ladder at the front of the car. He smiled a disturbingly Leporidaeic smile at their approach. Obviously, Cort and Bud did not see how quickly the tunnel through the mountain was coming up on them. Terry, his eyelashes blinking off the assault of flakes, saw it dimly, aghast at how very close it was. "DOWN!" he shouted. "Get down NOW!" Cort
turned, shocked at the sight of the wall of rock only yards away.
Vaguely he heard Terry's snow-muffled cry, "DOWN!" Then
the whole world was only black.
Next
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